It’s just a few days before Christmas, and well into Hanukkah. That means it’s a good time to spare a thought for your company’s CIO.
Chances are you haven’t lately. Why would you? After all, they’re always off in that dark server room, twiddling with some piece of gear or another, or with their eyes transfixed to their computer monitors as they mutter darkly about downtime or network traffic statistics. Of course, there is the small fact that while everyone else in your company goes blithely about their business munching holiday cookies and booking skiing vacations in Aspen, your poor neglected CIO is busy warding off hordes of hackers, reconciling fractious disputes between pieces of hardware, and otherwise keeping the company’s data wheels from falling off. Maybe, just maybe, some token of appreciation is in order.
Never fear! Your CIO’s wants are simple, and a panel of experts – people who actually understand CIOs – have compiled a list of the most sought-after CIO gifts for 2016. Go ahead – show your holiday spirit, and bring a smile to your CIO’s normally harried face with one of these modest expressions of gratitude:
1. Drones. CIOs love drones – all drones. They just can’t help it. Why? Who knows. Perhaps you can find one that will carry the empty Starbucks cups to the trash can, or hover surreptitiously behind employees to make sure they’re not really on Facebook.
2. Solar Wind Monitoring System. Because the best defense against sunspot-caused disruption of services, as with anything else, is sufficient forewarning coupled with detailed analysis.
3. Two – or better, three – monitors for all users. Because high monitor counts drive productivity. (Not because one is dedicated to Minecraft).
4. Bring on Mr. Data from Star Trek as an in-house resource. What company wouldn’t benefit from the services of a hyper-efficient cyborg? Case closed.
5. TileApp luggage tracker. Because when you leave your laptop bag on the luggage conveyor in Orlando, you feel better when you can track its subsequent movements in near-real time.
6. Technology on demand. Any resource – hardware, software, data, consulting – instantly available whenever and wherever wanted, for as long as it is needed, at the push of a button. Perfectly reasonable. And never mind the budget.
7. Microsoft Hololens. Because nothing brightens up the workplace quite like the occasional hologram – and they sure beat hallucinations.
8. 4k curved monitors at every desk. Even the most drab spreadsheet or presentation comes to life in high resolution. For better or worse.
With just a couple of days to go, you can’t afford to wait any longer – and be warned, you might have to shell out a little extra in order to get Mr. Data shipped to you quickly, even if you have Amazon Prime. So don’t delay: Make your CIO’s holiday techno-dreams come true. Why not? Maybe you’ll get that laptop upgrade a little sooner next year.